warcraft movie | Aspect of the Hare

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Yep. I’ve figured it out. Why the Warcraft movie trailer bugs me a lil’ bit.

And no, it’s not because there’s too much CGI. On the contrary: I don’t think there’s enough!

Warcraft has always been very silly and cartoony to me– in a good way, mind you. But the movie trailer is super serious and there are people in it. Real people! Not, like, cartoon people. It’s giving off a weird reverse-uncanny-valley effect to me.

I feel like the movie would have been more palatable to me had it been done Pixar-style. Yes, it definitely would’ve been a lot more silly… and honestly it probably would’ve felt (and looked) a lot more like Warcraft to me.

Alternatively we can just put me in charge of Warcraft art and everything will look like cute little critters with cat faces.

Anyways, I don’t mean to be a debbie downer or anything. I mean, overall the movie looks really great on a technical level. Granted, we’ve got Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob SquarePants as Rend Blackhand, so now I’m not sure how seriously I can take that character, but YOU know…

So the Warcraft movie, which was first announced approximately 35867 years ago, is finally coming out next year. Surprisingly we haven’t really seen any public teasers or anything for it yet, so what we know about it is still pretty limited. It looks like it takes place during the First War (contrary to what we were initially told), and… okay, that’s all I know.

Anyways, I dunno about you, but here is what I WANT TO SEE. In all caps.

1. More Than Just “Orcs & Humans”

Look, I know it’s based off of the first Warcraft game which was literally titled “Orcs & Humans”. But other stuff was certainly happening on the Eastern Kingdoms continent at the time of the First War. The gnomes and dwarves weren’t directly involved with the conflict but obviously knew what was going on due to their close proximity to Stormwind. Meanwhile, the Amani trolls and the high elves were up north dealing with their ongoing personal blood feud. All of these races, at least, should have a shot at appearing in the movie. Especially gnomes.

2. Cool lore stuff

Okay Warcraft movie, let’s really dig into the lore here and give us turbonerds more to talk about. Not really much else to say about that point. This does lead us nicely into point three:

3. Shoutouts to the fans (but not George Lucas style shoutouts)

Remember in the Star Wars prequel trilogy movies where every time George Lucas made some shoutout to the fans you could almost see him on screen winking slyly at the audience? (Yes, I’m talking to you, R2-D2/C-3PO introduction and that one part later where Boba Fett looks slowly at the camera for no reason.) I don’t want that. I do want little blink-if-you-miss-it things that only the nerds are gonna get. Wreck-It Ralph did a really good job of putting in references like this, I think. Speaking of which:

4. Moroes needs to say “Mmm, unannounced visitors” or “How terribly clumsy of me” or something.

Moroes is in the movie and if he doesn’t quote his lines from Karazhan then I’m walking out of the theater damnit!

Alright, enough of me trying (and probably failing) to be entertaining. What do YOU want to see in the Warcraft movie?

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