When I first took over guild-leadership of my guild from my boyfriend, I was relatively certain I could do it. Unfortunately, as time went on, I found that it was not to be. Being a Guild Leader requires a lot of time and energy to devote to the guild, and I had neither; my work schedule makes it near-impossible to be online during peak hours and even on my days off I am prone to hanging out on different servers, alt’ing around– that’s just how I am.

It got to the point where I would log on and people would ask me about guild ranks, the guild bank, or other important stuff and I would have to say “…I don’t know.” It was rather embarrassing. The guild leader doesn’t know what’s going on with her guild? It was true, though. It worried me a lot; I felt like I was doing a poor job as Guild Leader. And on top of that, I have never been much of a “Leader” type person. All that stress was making it hard for me to enjoy the game.

So, not too long ago, I made a thread on our guild forums stating that I was resigning from guild leadership. A good friend and long-time officer has taken over for me. I’m glad that it was able to work out that way, because I feel that a lot of pressure has been taken off of me, but it’s also awkward to watch, at the same time.

The face of the guild has changed a lot in the past few months. People that defined the guild in the early days have left and new people have come. We have had an official “guild clear” of Karazhan now– which I couldn’t attend, because our raid times fall during my work hours– and now that I think about it I don’t think a single person who was in that recent “guild clear” was part of that initial group of us that started raiding way back in the beginning. It’s kind of weird and very surreal to think about.

My officers basically took over for me a few months ago when I made it clear that I wouldn’t be around very often, and now that I have stepped down, it has been made even more official: ranks have changed, guild policies have changed, this guild is no longer at least partially “my” guild the way it was back when my boyfriend and I were co-leading it. I’m not going to say it’s a bad change, and I do think the officers are doing a solid job– but it’s very different, and somewhat awkward to deal with.

It’s hard to say what Tawyn’s future is at this point; what the guild’s future is and whether the two of them will continue to coincide. A part of me would like to try to squeeze into more raids and at least get Epic’d out before WotLK hits, so I can say I did it; another part of me knows that will be hard to do with my schedule and sort of doesn’t really care enough to work around it. We will just have to see.

Now I promise it’s not all doom’n’gloom, in fact, mostly I’ve been having a blast. I still adore the game and my hunters and I am excited about the prospect of my second level 70. Thinking back on it, after the initial “Just-dinged-70-funk” wore off, the process of getting geared for Karazhan was one of my most enjoyable experiences in WoW and I’m looking forward to doing it again.

And in other news, I still don’t have a Beta invite yet. Not that I’m dying for one– in fact I feel like I have too much left to do in Burning Crusade to focus on Beta– (not to mention a lot of awesome hunter blogs have been thoroughly covering it already; I like being one of the remaining non-Beta hunter blogs) but gosh, I’m starting to feel like the kid Blizz picked last in gym class! =P